Professor Genkis House of Bloody Wonders
by Burning Fate
Summary: "Hey everybody! It's me! Professooooor Genkiii! Don't you wish that you could go further into your own Reality Climax? Well that's why I've made a new game! Come on down to play in Professor Genki's house of bloody wonders! With new games! Including: Mine field relay, Helicopter Blade Jumping, and Fun with missiles!" (Cover made by Zkeddar on Deviantart!)
1. Chapter 1

Genkis house of random shit

"Just listen now. If we were to go in from the back, then there would be a more likely chance of us being actually successful on this mission." Kinzie said typing away on her laptop as Kate drove around in the big purple truck.

"That does sound a lot better than just running in with our gun blazing right away." Pierce said scratching his chin. Oleg opened the small window behind their heads.

"I concur."

"But it's way more fun that way!" Kate whined. Everyone was silent.

"…What would Professor Genki say?"

"FUCK NO!" The other three yelled at her.

"I'm just sayin! You know, he's been acting different lately."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kinzie asked.

"If you mean different as in from everyone else in the world, then yes he is. He's a psychotic cat headed freak!" Pierce yelled. Kate ripped out a gun from her side pocket and pointed it back at him.

"Take that back you bastard!"

"Alright, alright! I'm sorry!" She put the gun down.

"What I mean is that he's been getting up early in the mornings and leaving H.Q. and he doesn't come back until midnight."

"He's probably just goin' to a strip club or somethin' Boss."

"….You don't get it Pierce."

"Well," Kinzie started, "it just so happens that I got new spy gear last week. We could-." A buzzing noise came from Kate's pocket. Everyone was silent as she took out her phone and flipped it open.

"It's from the Professor! He said, 'Meet me at the old warehouse. I have a surprise for everyone!"

"Ah shit. What do ya think he means by that?"

"Most likely some flowers and ozher zhings for Boss lady."

"Probably."

"Why do you guys always think it's mushy crap?" The three kept their mouths closed and didn't say anything about Genki having a massive crush on her.

"I'll tell him we're on our way."

"BOOOOOOSSSS!" Everyone screamed. Kate looked up from her phone and saw that she was about to fly over a cliff.

"Aw shit!" But before she could do anything, the car went over the edge. She ripped open her parachute bag and grabbed Kinzie. Everyone jump out of the falling truck as it crashed into the water. Pierce and Oleg screamed on their way down behind it.

"Don't text and drive kids." Kinzie said.

"Or else you'll fly over the edge of a cliff….and die….This is no laughing matter! Keep the phone in your pants for god's sake!" Kate yelled. She landed on a couple of rocks and put the parachute away. Oleg and Pierce swam to them and rung out their clothes.

"Oh god." Pierce said before turning away from everyone. He un-zipped his pants and pulled out a fish.

"Ew." Kate said. "Come on. Let's get to that warehouse." She walked to the rocky Cliffside and grabbed onto the rocks. Pierce followed behind her and then came Kinzie and Oleg.

"Ow!" Kinzie yelped.

"Vhat is it Kinzie? Are you hurt?" Oleg asked looking up.

"I just jammed my finger. No big-. Ah!" She screamed as the rock under her hand broke. Oleg grabbed her.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah. Thanks Oleg." He pulled her up over his shoulder. Kate looked down to see Pierce looking back at the two.

"Aw! How cute! Trust falls for everybody!" Kate yelled jumping off of the rocks. Pierce looked up and screamed. Kate held out her hand. Pierce held his out and attempted to grab hers. But he missed by a few inches.

"Ah!" They both yelled.

"PIERCE YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIII-!" *splash* She plummeted into the water.

"Oh crap!" Pierce shook.

"She's going to kick your ass for this you know." Oleg predicted.

"Ah!" Kate got out of the water and back onto the rocks.

"D-Don't worry about me guys. I just….got the wind knocked out of me." Kate coughed. They climbed over the rocks. Oleg grabbed the back of Kate's shirt and pulled her over.

"Come on." Kate said holding her side.

"Boss, I'm so sorry. Don't kill me." Pierce pleaded.

"Just….shhhhhhh."

"Hey. Vhat do you zhink zhey're doing now?" Oleg said pointing up to a billboard. Some guys were putting up a new sign.

"Is….Is that-?" Kinzie said.

"Professor Genki?" Kate looked around and jumped into a car. She turned on the radio and switched through channels. Then she heard Genki's voice.

"_Hey everybody! It's me! Professooooor Genkiii! Don't you wish that you could go further into your own Reality Climax? Well that's why I've made a new game! Come on down to play in Professor Genki's house of bloody wonders! With new games! Including: Mine field relay, Helicopter Blade Jumping, and Fun with missiles! But that's not all! For you love birds out there, I've even made a game just for you! The Tunnel of Deathly Love. Take your honey through an amazing new world of wonders and joy! Reach the end, and you will be in a whole different perspective of love! And you'll also get some souvenirs at the end, including Genki's cosplay ears and costume for the men, and sexy Genki girl clothing for your babe! So come on down to Professor Genki's house of bloody wonders! *boing* MURDER TIME, FUN TIME!" _The gang froze.

"Eh….So Boss. What do you think the cat mans surprise is now?" Pierce asked.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I…" Kate stuttered.

"Very….interesting…." Kinzie thought.

"I…..get in the car."


	2. Chapter 2

Kate sped through red lights, hit a few pedestrians and almost got hit by a train as she hurried to the warehouse Professor Genki had told her to meet him at.

"Guys! Watch this! I'm gonna do that one awesome car trick where you spin the car and park perfectly in a spot!" Kate yelled.

"No! Don't!" Everyone else yelled. But they were all thrown back by gravity as Kate twisted the steering wheel as far left as she could.

'Yes! My fame! GLORY!' She thought, staring at the two cars she wanted to park in between. But as she came closer, she had noticed that she turned a bit too much, and rammed her truck in to a nice, blood red, Ferrari. Her truck laid over top of it.

"Oh….oh no." Kate said before backing up into her chosen spot.

"Somebody's gonna be piiiissed!" Pierce said covering his mouth as he stared at the crumbled car in front of them. Kate opened the trucks door and got out, putting her hands on the top of her head.

"Okay, um, um! Nobody freak out! But if anyone asks, Pierce did it!" Kate yelled.

"What?! No, no, no! I'm not takin' this one. You did it, you fix it!" Pierce yelled back, climbing out of the before Oleg and Kinzie. Professor Genki ran out of the warehouse to greet them. He jumped in to Kate's arms and with a bouquet of purple and blue flowers in his hands.

"KKKAAAAAAAATTTEEEEE! Genki is so happy that you made it!" He yelled, voice high pitched as he started poking the flowers into the side of Kate's face. Genki chuckled and looked over to the truck that had been parked behind the crumbled Ferrari.

"Whoa! What happened!?" He asked jumping out of Kate's arms and walking to the crushed car.

"Ah crap. It was your car wasn't it?" She asked. Genki shook his head.

"Oh, no, no, no. This was a contestants car! But, sadly for him, he was killed! Got blown up in the minefield relay! Teehee!" Kate sighed.

"Oh thank god. So I don't have to pay to get anything fixed then."

"But he did say in his will about giving it to his first son."

"NO!" Kate screamed. Genki grabbed Kate by the back of her shirt and dragged her to the warehouse as the other saints followed.

"Look!" Genki yelled as they ran inside, letting go of Kate. "Isn't it all so….shiny and new! Well, there is some blood on the helicopter blades and walls, but….oh who am I kidding. I CREATED A HOLOCAUST! AHAHAHAHA!" Screaming and blood flew around the warehouse and echoed from every which way. Kate shrieked as an arm flew across the room. Genki pushed his face against hers; glasses touching the bridge of her nose.

"Genki will keep the Boss lady Kate safe! Forever, and ALWAAAYS." He said like an overly obsessive person. Kate pushed him back and walked forward, putting her hands on her sides.

"This place…..looks TOATALLY AWESOME!" Kate yelled raising her arms above her head.

"Yay!" Genki cheered clapping his hands. Oleg put a hand to his chin and thought.

"S-So…..cat man. This, uh, tunnel of love or vhatever it may be. Uh…vhat is it?" Genki looked back at the giant Russian man with a dark gleam in his eyes. Genki laughed deep in his throat and pressed his fingers together.

"Oh yes. That. Heheh." Everyone looked at Genki as he closed his eyes and smiled devilishly.

"…..I don't get what's so funny." Pierce said scratching the back of his head.

"Ugh! Don't you guys get it?" Kate said rubbing the bridge of her nose before turning back to the group. "It's Genki! PROFESSOR GENKI! The, 'super-murder-cat'! There's a catch to his games." Genki chuckled.

"Smart, sexy girl, aren't you Kate? But indeed. There is….a teensy catch to the tunnel." Genki said, squinting two fingers together and leaving a small gap between them. Kate put her head down and thought.

"The *cough cough* 'special' love tunnel, has a few…things in it. Bombs. Guns. Bazookas. Ah. But the best part, if you actually come out of the tunnel alive, is the cosplay! OF MEEEEE!" Oleg chuckled.

"Sounds like fun. Kinzie. Vould you like to go through vith me?" Kinzie nodded.

"…D….Did Genki just say something about me being sexy?" Kate asked. Pierce shook his head.

"Oh boy, boss. You are slow." Genki stood up straight beside Kate and threw his arms unexpectedly around her thin waist.

"Kate! Let's go through! Togeeether…." Genki said.

"Uh…. Fine. Let's go." The group started walking for the tunnel, but Pierce followed slowly behind.

"I don't have anyone to ride with!"


End file.
